How To San Gil

  • Drive over insane, semi-littered, single-lane, winding, mountain pass road like a maniac 4 times
  • Watch wife swim a class 5 rapid on the Rio Suarez… underneath the raft
  • Go very, very budget bungee jumping
  • Swim in a giant waterfall
  • Drink lots of beer and play a game where you score points blowing stuff up by throwing things at explosives
  • Go rafting again. Repeat class 5 but without your guide, backwards
  • Walk on water in a local pool
  • Get tattoos in the middle of Colombia

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Adios Sea Level!

Alright folks, Colombia is going down! Forget simply retrieving our home from one of millions of containers floating around the multitude of ports. Never mind the obnoxious humidity, blistering heat, and complimentary lack of wind. No, no no no, we must bathe in the mud volcano before we even attempt to deal with anything serious. I mean, imagine a human stew with a complimentary dude rub. Or how about a native stripping you naked in a river faster than you can say “where’d my top go” or “so much mud…” Well, all of that and more can be yours on a simple outing from the hostel in Cartagena. For a mere $17 US you can have one of the most interesting, bizarre, novel experiences of your life. Plus, how often does one get the opportunity to get inside an actual volcano?!?! It goes a little something like this:

  1. Climb the stairs, enter the mud volcano, get rubbed down (by a dude). Not sure if I’ll ever be able to forget the guy saying, “Relax, relax. Welcome to Colombia.”
  2. Exit mud volcano, head to river, get stripped faster than you can say “whoa” by a mama and vigorously washed.
  3. Buy overpriced beer and wait for staff to collect tips from you for said services.

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