A Note From Niccole on How Epic My Beard Is

Niccole wanted to share her thoughts on my beard with you all. Here ya go:

I don’t know what to say…some things just cannot be described but I shall try.

There is a monster growing on my husband’s face, it whispers to him while he sleeps, supposedly even tells him which direction to go while we drive or walk about. This can be very beneficial if you are lost in the wilderness. This monster is thick, curly, wild, and oft untamable. My husband assists the untamableness (yes this is a new word) by taking a comb and fluffing it up and out. My husband fears for the safety of my fingers against this elegant, suave beast and only allows me to touch it when it is well fed and happy (sometimes not even then much to my severe disappointment). However, he is unable to restrain this beast from attacking my face and neck. “What’s in a beard?” one may ask. I do not know. But they carry the secret of man power, or so I’m told. Men know that the bigger, scarier, harrier the beard monster; the more one has the right to be called “MAN.” MAN with its cave dwelling, dragging WOMAN by hair elicitation. The stronger the life of the beard, the more that the MAN can laugh at the beardless or well trimmed face. The beard likes to disguise itself by allowing the hoariness of ice to collect on a cold day; it can save small chicks or baby mice with its warmth and collection of edibles it may contain. Last but not least, the beard monster helps hide the person it decides to inhabit, keeps them warm, and aids in intellectual stimulation by requiring the symbiotic relation to stroke it. Managing a beard takes both commitment and fearlessness (or so I am led to believe) and I am powerless against it.

I understand all too well how excellent my organic face mask is coming in. In order to assist you, the reader, in following my beard’s progress, I have added a day counter to the stats widget on our homepage. Now, at a glance, you can see how many days the shaving strike has been underway. You’re very, very welcome.

In the video below, you’ll find everything you need to know about trimming a beard.

Also, here are a few other facts about beards you might not have been aware of.